Poem for Autumn Equinox

The Last Time
(for Shelley)

The last time I walked over the bridge
a Tibetan prayer flag had broken
free of its mooring
and drifted
into the gutter

I lifted it and tied it to the rail
and when I raised my head a hummingbird
fifty feet above the canyon hovered
inches from my face

Today a huge bird of prey
waits in a distant tree
across the bay a fighter plane
disappears before the sound
of war can reach me

The bird unclasps the branch
and dives
body lit by sun
black- shadowed wings
a span of greatness

I pray it will
and will it to
come closer
so I can name it
falcon, eagle, condor, hawk
yet,
as with so many things
I pray and will
it only flies further from me

(Lately I don't know
who or what I am
may /be
be /cause
I am trying too hard to be
who I thought I was)

Ten years from now I will
be saying
that I would give the world to have
what I have
now



--Star St.Claire, 2010, San Diego