A bird flies from the ground to a small branch, and lands.
The branch wobbles. Whoa, thinks the bird, maybe I made a mistake.
Then he finds his balance. The bird looks around, content.
He begins to sing.
The twig shakes again. So he stops.
The bird sees something in the grass, and dives down.
The grass is as tall as trees. He can't see past it.
But he can eat.
Everything, the flying, the eating, even the balancing, seems like hard work.
Only in brief moments is he perfectly balanced.
We may not always be balanced.
But we are always who we are - a person, or a bird.
Star Saint Claire, May, 2011, San Diego
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Sky is Blue?
The sky is blue. it seems incontrovertible. yet. one could say with equal authority the sky is gray. white. orange. depending on the weather and the time of day, right? shall we disagree about this and kill one another over it? i think not.
maybe we can agree on this: the sky is the sky. the sky is.
and what of God? so many pretending to know, convinced they know, who he likes and who he hates and what he is and how and where. if we disagree, shall we kill one another over the color of God? the name of God?
maybe we can agree. God is God. God is good. God is.
as a peacemaker i am so weary of the fighting, the wars, the arguments, the opinions, the ideology some are willing to kill for. i feel like giving up. what will happen if all the peacemakers give up?
just now i feel qite zen about this. even if i give up, the sky will still be the sky. and God will still be God.
maybe we can agree on this: the sky is the sky. the sky is.
and what of God? so many pretending to know, convinced they know, who he likes and who he hates and what he is and how and where. if we disagree, shall we kill one another over the color of God? the name of God?
maybe we can agree. God is God. God is good. God is.
as a peacemaker i am so weary of the fighting, the wars, the arguments, the opinions, the ideology some are willing to kill for. i feel like giving up. what will happen if all the peacemakers give up?
just now i feel qite zen about this. even if i give up, the sky will still be the sky. and God will still be God.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Please Pray For A Young Girl
The Why Of Where We Are
Our apartment is sweet, but tiny. We have tried (and prayed) to move elsewhere without success. I finally accepted that if God has us here, it must be for a good reason...
Earlier today I suddenly remembered that if I didn't send my mum-in-law's Easter card, it would be late. So I walked to the neighborhood mailbox, smelling yellow flowers along the way, such a delicate scent as to be almost indiscernible. And I thought about delicate things, and how each is powerful in its own way.
The mail had already gone. If I had known that, I thought, I would have taken it to a different box.
On a whim, I took a different route home. A ways down the street a little dog, a young man, and a young woman stood in a doorway. Another young woman sat weeping on the stairs. I passed by. But then I stopped. Should I go back, or not? I went back. The man and dog were gone. But the young woman was crying even harder and louder. She had left the steps, and was now standing with her face pressed up against the door. Her friend was trying to comfort her.
I said I was sorry to impose, but just could not pass by when someone was crying so hard. She couldn't take it, she said. Her boyfriend had left. She had tried, or maybe wanted to try, to kill herself. I said that every single person with any kind of heart has felt that pain at some time. I told her it is okay to feel deep pain, but it is not okay to punish ourselves for what someone else did. I told her she must promise to tell her friends whenever she feels suicidal. She promised.
Her friend assured me they would be all right. Maybe I didn't do enough. I never saw her face, or asked her name. All I know is she is thin, young and has long shiny brown hair. Please pray for her.
Our apartment is sweet, but tiny. We have tried (and prayed) to move elsewhere without success. I finally accepted that if God has us here, it must be for a good reason...
Earlier today I suddenly remembered that if I didn't send my mum-in-law's Easter card, it would be late. So I walked to the neighborhood mailbox, smelling yellow flowers along the way, such a delicate scent as to be almost indiscernible. And I thought about delicate things, and how each is powerful in its own way.
The mail had already gone. If I had known that, I thought, I would have taken it to a different box.
On a whim, I took a different route home. A ways down the street a little dog, a young man, and a young woman stood in a doorway. Another young woman sat weeping on the stairs. I passed by. But then I stopped. Should I go back, or not? I went back. The man and dog were gone. But the young woman was crying even harder and louder. She had left the steps, and was now standing with her face pressed up against the door. Her friend was trying to comfort her.
I said I was sorry to impose, but just could not pass by when someone was crying so hard. She couldn't take it, she said. Her boyfriend had left. She had tried, or maybe wanted to try, to kill herself. I said that every single person with any kind of heart has felt that pain at some time. I told her it is okay to feel deep pain, but it is not okay to punish ourselves for what someone else did. I told her she must promise to tell her friends whenever she feels suicidal. She promised.
Her friend assured me they would be all right. Maybe I didn't do enough. I never saw her face, or asked her name. All I know is she is thin, young and has long shiny brown hair. Please pray for her.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Know Thyself - The Cube Game
My dear friend Shell, in Taos, taught me this game in the spring sunlight on the flowered patio at the Adobe Inn (hi, Adobe Inmates!) where we lived and breathed, briefly and beautifully, side by side in tiny heart-shaped spaces...(the best/blessed neighbors, ever.) The Cube Game: In a flat desert space... Imagine a cube. Imagine a storm. Imagine a ladder. Imagine a horse. Imagine flowers. Now that you have a picture, and the placement of the objects, here is the interpretation: The cube is your self. The storm is your future. The ladder represents friends. The horse is your lover. The flowers are children. My cube was a floating, transparent box with an open top and one black side. It was surrounded by a feeling of timelessness. What was yours? P. S. Self awareness inspires love of self, which inspires love of others, and love of Good. We all need awareness desperately just now with the world in such chaos. And that is why I shared the cube game...We are all works of art.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Tsunami on the Blue Planet
The waves even reached us here in San Diego. Under a Tsunami watch all day. The Blue Planet, shining like a tear in God's eye.
Such a powerful earthquake that the earth's axis actually shifted ten centimeters... ironically, the measure of space opening in a woman before a baby is born. What is the Earth birthing?
The ocean, and the oceans of tears, connect us all...
Such a powerful earthquake that the earth's axis actually shifted ten centimeters... ironically, the measure of space opening in a woman before a baby is born. What is the Earth birthing?
The ocean, and the oceans of tears, connect us all...
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Invasion of Love (conclusion)
(continued from previous three posts)
How can you be so sure they'll be human? I asked.
Because we're all human, Kel insisted. All made in the image of God! No frog-people, no aliens. Just beautiful, tangible daughters of Eve. Plump and ripe as fruit, man!
He leaned back, hands behind head, dreaming. A nightbird called from the edge of the forest, lonely. I shivered. We hadn't laid eyes on a living breathing girl our own ages since the fifth grade.
So when do we leave? I joked.
Just as soon as we believe it, man. Think positive! We'll ride the milky way like cowboys ride horses, he said. Slide down that path of light like its a river or an avalanche - ride in like heroes, man, like heroes! Just think!
We gazed at the Blue Planet, solitary, shining like a tear in God's eye. And it did seem ripe for invasion. An invasion of love.
THE END
How can you be so sure they'll be human? I asked.
Because we're all human, Kel insisted. All made in the image of God! No frog-people, no aliens. Just beautiful, tangible daughters of Eve. Plump and ripe as fruit, man!
He leaned back, hands behind head, dreaming. A nightbird called from the edge of the forest, lonely. I shivered. We hadn't laid eyes on a living breathing girl our own ages since the fifth grade.
So when do we leave? I joked.
Just as soon as we believe it, man. Think positive! We'll ride the milky way like cowboys ride horses, he said. Slide down that path of light like its a river or an avalanche - ride in like heroes, man, like heroes! Just think!
We gazed at the Blue Planet, solitary, shining like a tear in God's eye. And it did seem ripe for invasion. An invasion of love.
THE END
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Invasion of Love, part III
(Continued from previous posts)
Kel pressed the button and we zeroed in on the Blue Planet. Closer and closer it came, water and land, grass and rivers, deserts and farms. Cities glittering like eyes. Green trees, blue lakes.
Blue and green, I said.
God's favorite colors, said Kel. Our own planet was mostly blue and green. Sister planet, he sighed, raising a toast.
When we get there, I said, what will we do?
Heroes, he said. We'll be heroes, man. Not by fighting, by loving! He held an imaginary girl close, made kissing sounds, m-m-m. Some of our contemporaries had got rid of their emotions. Not Kel. He'd kept all of his.
Love conquers all? I joked.
You know it, man, he said.
God, I said. I wish this window zoomed in closer. What if they have green skin, no arms, four legs? What if they don't look like us?
They'll look like us, Kel said.
Brown skin, black hair? I said.
Two arms, two legs, walking upright...and...his hands traced an hourglass shape in the air.
So when do we leave? I joked.
Kel pressed the button and we zeroed in on the Blue Planet. Closer and closer it came, water and land, grass and rivers, deserts and farms. Cities glittering like eyes. Green trees, blue lakes.
Blue and green, I said.
God's favorite colors, said Kel. Our own planet was mostly blue and green. Sister planet, he sighed, raising a toast.
When we get there, I said, what will we do?
Heroes, he said. We'll be heroes, man. Not by fighting, by loving! He held an imaginary girl close, made kissing sounds, m-m-m. Some of our contemporaries had got rid of their emotions. Not Kel. He'd kept all of his.
Love conquers all? I joked.
You know it, man, he said.
God, I said. I wish this window zoomed in closer. What if they have green skin, no arms, four legs? What if they don't look like us?
They'll look like us, Kel said.
Brown skin, black hair? I said.
Two arms, two legs, walking upright...and...his hands traced an hourglass shape in the air.
So when do we leave? I joked.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Invasion of Love (part II)
(sci-fi short story cont'd from previous post...)
So what does God live inside? I asked, grabbing another beer.
God lives inside God, Kel stated. We gotta go there.
He pointed. The Blue Planet, shining and spinning in the middle of the window, beyond us far away, small as a sapphire.
There are girls there, man, he said.
We sighed. Years ago, young women began leaving our world in droves to become nurses on planets torn by war. The men had tried to stop them, but the girls proved altruistic more so than domestic. Having more advanced thought patterns, they flew away on wings of pure belief, like doves. None of the men could figure it out. How to leave the planet, that is.
Now the remaining girls were cloistered, pressed into service bearing children for the Kingdom. When these babies grew up, there would be girls to marry again. But not for years. We felt very bad. Being teenagers and all.
Kel pressed the button and we zeroed in on The Blue Planet, object of our desires.
(to be continued...)
So what does God live inside? I asked, grabbing another beer.
God lives inside God, Kel stated. We gotta go there.
He pointed. The Blue Planet, shining and spinning in the middle of the window, beyond us far away, small as a sapphire.
There are girls there, man, he said.
We sighed. Years ago, young women began leaving our world in droves to become nurses on planets torn by war. The men had tried to stop them, but the girls proved altruistic more so than domestic. Having more advanced thought patterns, they flew away on wings of pure belief, like doves. None of the men could figure it out. How to leave the planet, that is.
Now the remaining girls were cloistered, pressed into service bearing children for the Kingdom. When these babies grew up, there would be girls to marry again. But not for years. We felt very bad. Being teenagers and all.
Kel pressed the button and we zeroed in on The Blue Planet, object of our desires.
(to be continued...)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Invasion of Love
(A Story In Progress)
We were sitting out on the portal of my house, looking through the telescoping window and drinking beer. It was night. Pinprick stars spangled the distance like chips of ice, and orbs floated like colored drops.
Man, said Kel, just think.
What, I said.
All those planets. Figments, or real?
Real, I said.
Not just thoughts, he agreed. Reality! Just think, man. Use your brain.
For what? I said. The air smelled like wet grass.
He waxed on. If the ego is only negative thought, and all negative thought is a lie, then negative thought is the devil.
Okay, I said. Kel was religious. I wasn't.
And when all the planets, the ones with life, figure that out, we will banish negative thought. Voila! He snapped his longish fingers. Paradise regained!
Your eyes are shiny, I said.
Just think, Kel said. God is THE PRIME MIND. And we are all, all of us, all of this, inside the vast being who is God. Just like tiny organisms live inside us, we live inside God, the prime host organism.
So what does God live inside? I asked him, grabbing another beer.
(to be continued...)
We were sitting out on the portal of my house, looking through the telescoping window and drinking beer. It was night. Pinprick stars spangled the distance like chips of ice, and orbs floated like colored drops.
Man, said Kel, just think.
What, I said.
All those planets. Figments, or real?
Real, I said.
Not just thoughts, he agreed. Reality! Just think, man. Use your brain.
For what? I said. The air smelled like wet grass.
He waxed on. If the ego is only negative thought, and all negative thought is a lie, then negative thought is the devil.
Okay, I said. Kel was religious. I wasn't.
And when all the planets, the ones with life, figure that out, we will banish negative thought. Voila! He snapped his longish fingers. Paradise regained!
Your eyes are shiny, I said.
Just think, Kel said. God is THE PRIME MIND. And we are all, all of us, all of this, inside the vast being who is God. Just like tiny organisms live inside us, we live inside God, the prime host organism.
So what does God live inside? I asked him, grabbing another beer.
(to be continued...)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Random Pursuit of Happiness and a Prayer
I have exhausted myself. In the last two weeks, inspired by an Oprah episode, I have tried and failed to become a vegetarian. Likewise I have tried and failed to lose weight. Tried and failed to "fix" the painting I'm working on. And so on. Trying to catch happiness. Caught a (two-week and counting) horrid cold instead.
Trying hard to listen to the soul and not the ego. Failing, predictably, as it is the ego who demands we "try hard" in the first place. Ack.
What you want you will not get. What you don't want, you will have. A koan. Or whatever those Zen riddles are called.
The one brilliantly bright spot I have created amongst the recent ruins is this prayer:
May today be Beautiful. May all my relations be held in the hands of God.
Well, it's simple.
The things that make me happiest are simple. Lace-like shadows of ferns against a white fence - a mockingbird singing its heart out - a donut.
What are your simple solutions to gain happiness?
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